And here I though that nothing could get me down. I mean, I have pretty thick skin but sometimes I just want to curl up into a ball with a huge tub of ice cream and cry. Yes, I said cry. What 21-year-old wants to cry over edits? Me, that’s who.
No one is mean to me, not in the slightest. Everyone who has critiqued my work so far has been kind, considerate and VERY helpful. Honestly, their insight is priceless. I appreciate everyone for taking out time from their busy lives to help me improve my work. It’s ridiculous how kind people can be.
Still, I open up a file and see the amount of things I need to change, and I want to cry. I want to bawl like a baby and never stop. I want my mummy to come and comfort me. I want to eat a lot of things that are high in sugar, and I never want to look at that darn manuscript ever again.
But I do. Why? I’m not entirely sure. Maybe it’s because my MC is telling me to get my butt into gear. Maybe it’s because deep down I want to be a successful writer one day and I know I can get through this. Taking another look at that list of edits, I realise that I can do this. I will do this.
Sure it isn’t easy. It never gets any easier. The first draft is hard, revising is hard, editing is hard, having other people look at your work is hard. Example: “Oh, fudge! I totally used that word wrong and they noticed. Now they’re going to think I’m the stupidest person alive. Why didn’t I read it through one more time?”
Every part of being a writer is hard, but we still do it. Everyone has their own reasons and each reason is important because when you’re down in the dumps, that reason is what will motivate you to work harder. That reason is what will make you lock yourself in your room and get those edits done so your book gets better.
Remember that reason next time you start doubting yourself. (Most importantly, remember that reason next time you consider eating a whole tub of ice cream to comfort yourself.)
What are your reasons for wanting to be a writer that help you get through the tough times?
Yay you are back! I think for me when I see all the cross outs and comments that gets me through is the desire to be successful. I want to be a published, successful author. I am going to do it - I often say that.
ReplyDeleteLove your honesty, Komal... and TRUST ME when I say we're all there!
ReplyDeleteWriting is such a roller coaster of emotions. The highs are so high and the lows are so low... But you're right, we do keep going. And the best part is, the longer we press on, the better we become. It's incredible to look back and observe your own personal journey. I know I'm floored with where I started to where I am now... and I know in another year hopefully I'll be even stronger.
Great post!
I'm with you, Komal. And I agree with Morgan, too: writing is such a roller coaster of emotions. But aren't roller coasters so much fun! And after the ride, you feel so refreshed and alive, accomplished even, because you took the chance and survived the ride. And that's why I keep writing. :)
ReplyDeletei like to think i have thick skin, but i can get knocked down in to ice-cream land in a pinch, too.
ReplyDeleteremember to look at the positive comments, and relish in them. it's so tempting to fixate on the negative!
Quote posted on my wall: "To write a breakout novel is to run free of the pack. It is to delve deeper, think harder, revise more, and commit to creating characters and plot that surpass one's previous accomplishments. It is to say NO to merely being good enough to be published. It is a commitment to quality." Donald Maass
ReplyDeleteSo happy to have a post from you. I think for me it's about the desire. I WANT this. I really do. It pushes me. Also, have you ever seen the musical Wicked? The phrase Defying Gravity always picks me up too!!! So when I see all those fixes, i pop in some music and tell myself it is worth it!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it!
ReplyDeleteWe all go through this. I've been trying to set myself up for rejection so it won't be as hard when it inevitably comes. But I know I'll still end up upset. All you can do is keep moving forward!
Aww sweetie. I can't tell you how difficult it was to read this, but most of all to understand how you're feeling.
ReplyDeleteSometimes to build yourself up you have to tear a few things down. It's all for something, remember that.
You have all the love and support of everyone around you but you also want the truth in how to make what you've created even better.
Kormal, please lift yourself up from the dumps and put that lovely smile back on your face.
ReplyDeleteJust remember in the end you need to make the final decisions about what will be the end reult of your work. If you make too many changes, then think about it, it won't be your work but your CP's.
Make sure to only make the changes that you think are necessary, not everyone of them might be the right for you and your story!
CarolynBrown-Books
You know if you ever need a pick me up, just send me some more chapters to read. : )I think you are brilliant!
ReplyDeleteKomal! This is wonderful...it really is. :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the club! We've all had those pesky self doubts and taunts from our own mind. It is difficult and scary to send your work to another and ask for a critique. But you did it!
Beat them (those doubts and fears) down with a big stick. And then, get to those revisions. You're getting closer and closer with every word replaced, every sentence tightened-up, every redundant word cut. Awesome!
Hey there! I haven't seen you around in a few weeks and wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. Hope you are well...and your absence is only due to a busy schedule. :)
ReplyDeleteHope to see you soon!